Can I get a dog?

No, but seriously, can I? I couldn’t tell you how many times in the past few years I’ve asked myself this, thinking how much better running through Anki would be with a little pupper at my feet. But somehow I’m always able to convince myself out of it: I’m too busy to take care of one, I can’t afford it, it’s not the right time.

And there it is. The phrase that keeps all med students tied down: it’s not the right time. Be real with yourself, how many times have you wanted to do something since starting med school and stopped yourself because it “wasn’t the right time?” Hey, I’m all for delayed gratification here. We kind of have to be in order to be in medicine, to be crazy enough to spend another 4 years in school after everyone else we know has finished, top it off with another 4+ years of training while our friends are starting families and, more importantly, getting dogs.

I’m getting ready to wrap up my third year in med school, capping off a year of wild rotations and more caffeine consumption than I thought was possible. My willpower hit a breaking point about 3 months ago when I saw the most precious boxer at our local pound. I have ALWAYS wanted a boxer, and this was a Grade-A pupper. Top-of-the-line cuteness, the kind just ready to be spoiled. But I couldn’t do it.

All I could think about was how many times I’d have to leave the poor thing to go into the hospital, how I didn’t know what time I would be home every day and the little guy would be waiting for love and to pee, really needing to pee. So I talked myself out of it, as it’s really easy to do with most things in medical school. “I’ll do it later, let me just get through ___ first.”

Am I being ridiculous? Tons of students get through school just fine taking care of dogs. Some even take care of kids somehow. I guess what I’m trying to say is that we all have something we want in life we’re putting on hold. And for good reason to. We’ve sacrificed so much to get here, and we’ve stayed strong saying no to a lot to stay on course to the dream. When you put a lot that life has to offer on hold, what’s one more thing to wait on?

But, I guess I’d like to play Devil’s Advocate today. Isn’t there always going to be another reason to wait? Now’s not a good time because I’m just trying to get my feet grounded in school. Now’s not a good time because I’m applying for residency and don’t know where I’ll be. Now’s not a good time because I’m a resident and need all my focus in the hospital. Now’s not a good time because I’m doing everything I can to snag this fellowship. Now’s just really not a good time, but I’ll get to it later.

I’m not just talking about getting a dog here. Why are you waiting to date? Or propose even? Waiting for that right magical time in life when everything is going according to plan, life is quiet and under control, the pieces have fallen into place and a big billboard you pass on the highway says “Congrats on waiting, just do it.” Good luck with that one, because if being in medicine has taught me anything it’s that life will never be completely quiet, easy, and according to plan. We all too often let the pacing of the world dictate how we live our lives, rather than set the course ourselves. In med school, it’s so easy to let ourselves fall into this trap when we feel such a lack of agency in our own lives. But it’s never too late to reclaim that.

Now, I’m definitely not telling you all to go out and get a dog and get down on one knee (not that I’ll complain if I get an onslaught of new puppy pics and engagement photos because of this, or if you misunderstand what I’m saying and end up proposing to your dog. Either of which would be cute as hell). You may need to wait on those things, it may really not be the time if you can’t give energy and love to whatever you’ve been waiting on. But there is a compromise to be made between the delayed gratification of medical school’s gifts and enjoying life along way. Do your best to not compare your stage in life with those around you, especially those outside of medicine, and actively look for ways to make this process the incredibly fulfilling journey it’s supposed to be.

By the way, the pup pics all over this piece are of Penny, my family’s dog, and her friends. Don’t worry, it won’t be long before I bring her another friend to play with. Just gotta get through ____ first.

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